My darling wife and i recently hosted a dinner party for 6 people we don't particularly enjoy but somehow managed to get tangled up with.
A few yeas ago we were invited to go to a dinner party, and like fools we went. It was a reasonably acceptable night as far as dinner parties go. The conversation was largely driven by a 2 guys that really need to broaden their horizons. they were able to eloquently speak about soccer but little else, however, they were funny and i enjoyed the evening.
I have to assume that the other 3 couples enjoyed the conversation as well because a few weeks later we were at the another couple's home for a dinner party with the same 8 people sitting around the table.
Once again the conversation quickly...no, immediately turned to soccer. fine, no big deal, they hadn't yet gotten it out of their system. I just sat there and laughed when cued and nodded when it seemed right, a few well timed "indeeds" and nobody would ever suggest that i really could care less about "the beautiful game".
some moths passed and we landed at the third couples home for dinner party number 3; same crowd, same talk. OH MY GOD, how much could have possibly transpired in the world of soccer in the past few weeks that yet another evening would be dragged down into this pit of the sporting world equivalent to watching paint dry? Not this time my friends, the bull would have to be grabbed by the horns soon and i was just the man to do it. i jumped on the first chance i got to change the subject; The Spanish league "has anyone ever been to Spain? i would love to visit in late summer for the tomato festival" no dice, still soccer.
English premier league; ' I've been reading some of Jamie Oliver's cookbooks, isn't it interesting to see how his food revolution is working out?" nothing; did they even hear me?
I was discouraged but i had one more good try in me "did you hear the one about the blond on the airplane?"
Finally! i had their full attention! quick change the friggin subject; the state of our public schools: discuss.
it worked! i had them talking about the school system! wait a second, no the teachers aren't all gay! change the subject again, "any idea who you are voting for?" NO NO NO! the politicians aren't all gay!
At that moment i realised a terrible truth; they are only capable of talking about one thing. This is precious time robbed from my life that i can never have back, what a mess!
So this week was our turn to host the dinner party, pork chops, braised brussel sprouts and roasted potatoes; for dessert?...soccer.
This rotation has been going for a few years now; I dread every single dinner party; How did I end up here?
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